He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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