Duck Duck Cougar?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
