Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
