Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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