Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
