I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
