Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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