And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
that's an acceptable place to lick
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize