Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
