he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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