Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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