guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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