Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
