Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
