Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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