Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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