Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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