You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
