he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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