dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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