I didn't shave. On purpose
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
