Just fell off a train. Bad.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
