Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
