I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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