when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
