K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Randomize
