dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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