Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
