You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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