All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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