Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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