fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
