Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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