I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
