How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you inspire me to be a worse person
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
