we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
