Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
