even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
