i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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