Three words: puerto rican gang bang
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
