it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
