I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
