perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
