I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
