ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
