Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
