He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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