No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
