I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
