can u get pink eye on your cock?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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