I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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