The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
